the year (looking out the back door)
i don’t normally think of a past year as an item unto itself– of course this could be an age thing– i find myself looking at the past in terms of decades– let’s see there was the psychedelic decade, the angry young man decade, the growing up decade and the settling down decade– however, i guess when i see magazines and television tabulating a years events for new year specials i am slightly repulsed– it all seems so neat and pat– like a fair season friend who wears the colgate smile and brings the right beer and knows who’s who on the celtics team this year– very f!#$%(g apropos charlie!!! step right up and get your three pump hand-shake over here– artificial mama we don’t do no polaroids round here–
but you know . . . this has been one hell of a year– although kathleen and i are in good health and we still have jobs etc etc etc, it has been one of the most tumultuous years that we have shared together–
the saddest part of the year of course was the death of kathleen’s sister vicki– this was especially overwhelming for kathleen and her brother chris and i personally cannot think of a sadder time of my life– unfortunately i had only physically spent two weeks with her, yet it seemed that over the years i had gotten to know her through phone conversations and pictures– a lot of times it was only listening to kathleen be a support to her as she dealt with the bureaucracy which i feel finally led to her death– this was a woman who was denied ssi in salt lake city, utah after having major heart surgery by a judge who during her ssi hearing was casually talking to his buddy about golfing in california and while talking to him asked his opinion on whether or not a 51 year old woman should be able to continue working– life and death decisions– his buddy thought, “no she could work”– by assholes that are more interested in golf scores– and people wonder why some of us feel we need a “socialist” health care system . . . — maybe we need to wait till everyone personally feels the pain and anguish of losing someone because a) they didn’t have the right health care b) their health care didn’t cover the procedure needed or c) they didn’t have any health care and so they received the bare minimum treatment and then were thrown out on the streets while the doctors, lawyers and judges went to the golf course– this country makes me want to vomit– and yes i would move to canada if i had the money to fund the move– feel free to send money expressly for that purpose–
of course another major event continually playing in the background for kathleen and i was our employment– we both work for a local health care provider (ironic, isn’t it?) that was on the verge of closure due to laws passed during the previous administrations tenure– pssst, i live in new york– it was the pataki administration– thank god he’s not running for president!!! of course governor spitzer’s administration had to deal with what was left behind– but wonder of wonder, another institution came to the rescue and we are still employed– but the stress of having not only one, but two jobs held over your head??? for over a year??? we developed a fond affection for “sleepytime tea” remember the jingle ~~take sominex tonight and sleep~~– after watching “the wizard of oz” i would run outside and roll over and over in our little poppy patch but to no avail . . . life is not like the movies–
family issues have added to the overload– negative and positive– many family members have been ill and i have several family members that are very dear to me that are dealing with serious health issues– unfortunately most of us are part of the boom and we are all getting older– i am extremely thankful that i come from a large family which can add more support when needed–
a high point in the year was visiting with my cousins and aunts and uncles in maine– such a beautiful place, moving at a nice pace– now i know why they moved there and why they are all such beautiful people– the only problem in maine of course is that guy who lives in kennebunkport– i have been working on letters to my cousins in maine for the past three months thanking them for the wonderful time that we had but . . . you know how life gets . . . i also am working on a letter of congratulation to my cousin nathan in reply to his e-mail who (now don’t tell anybody, i’m not sure it’s public yet– and you know the way rumors can get started on the web) but pssst . . . he told me that he is engaged!!! yes!!! to be married!!! yes!!! to debbie!!! debbie, welcome to the family– don’t worry– really– some of us are actually quite sane– you know, now that i think about it . . . i can’t find his e-mail . . . wow, i sure hope her name was debbie . . . .
a low point of the year was a negative e-mail tête-à-tête that chris, my brother-in-law, and i were involved in– chris is a conservative and i am somewhat of a liberal (okay, radical) guy and well, things got said . . . feelings got hurt . . . and he and i haven’t really talked much lately– of course it has been hunting season and we all know that the conservatives haven’t been a particularly careful bunch with the guns this year– so it has probably been better that i stay away until it’s over– (i know, that was a cheap shot) hopefully we will get together in the new year– chris and his wife robin and their children have become very dear to me and to be quite honest we (i) have missed their company during the past couple of months–
as a fine representation of the way the year has gone, this month in many ways topped them all– what with the capitalistic season and several snow-storms including the one we are in right now– my mother unfortunately took a spill on the 19th and suffered a broken bone– family has been extremely supportive and she is recovering as i type– i had planned on journeying to see her this weekend but the storm decided against that–
of course the happiest day of the year 12 hours before my mothers fall, kaydan victor tyler moyer came into the world and kathleen and i became grandparents–
oh, and of course there was the snow plow– this occurred i believe twenty four to forty eight hours after my mother had fallen and just capped a week that was up and down– this incident did happen at work– the unusual part of this happening is that approximately thirty years ago while i was working at another job a snow plow hit my car– and it was a volkswagen bug then too!!! given enough time history obviously repeats itself–
life, it moves so fast and it’s time to plant the flowers, to hang the flag, have that last barbecue of the summer season, rake the leaves, poke the pumkin, kill the turkey and where . . . the hell . . . does it all go–
oh well– happy new year
peace and love
john
